Confessions of a Church Planter – I Trust In Money More Than Christ

When I started thinking about doing this blog, a couple thoughts came to mind more than anything, “Don’t wear a church mask. Don’t fake it. Be as transparent as possible and then even a little more.” In thought this is easy, but when life brings tough stuff my way, it becomes much more difficult to actually do. Truth be told, I worry about people liking me more than I trust Jesus to use my shortcomings to inspire others and create paths for reconciliation to Him. I have tried to be someone who is an open book, but make no mistake about it, I am always careful about which chapter I let people read. If I am going to be faithful I need to let you read a chapter in my life that I wish was not there.

Before I go any further unpacking an event that happened a few evenings ago, I want to say how wonderful my wife is. She is an amazing woman of God. Not only does she seek Jesus with everything she has, but she puts up with me when I am at my worst. I always tell young couples that you actually say “I do” three years into marriage. The wedding service and “I do” at the altar is just practice for a coming event that will be a lot more stressful than any wedding event and making sure everyone is there on time and sober and dressed to impress (but not looking better then the bride J). Well my wife recently had one of those nights when she had to recall saying “I do” to me.

So what happened? Well it has everything to do with money. I don’t know about you, but money makes me feel safe. When I have it it seems like life is a lot easier. As a church planting intern money is tight. We knew it would be, but it really is difficult to live within a tight budget. Now before I go any further, I must confess that we have it good compared to some church planters. I know this, but for some odd reason I can’t get it through my thick head and live contently with what we have. The bible says in Hebrews 13:5, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."^{[a] 6}So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"^[b]”

The crazy part about this text is that I preached it two Sunday’s ago. You can listen to my sermon by following the link. It is entitled Love Never Quits. Ok, back to the story at hand. How do you know if you love money? Well, I figured that out by looking at what love is according to 1 Corinthians.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

My Confession:

I am not patient when I don’t have money.

I am not kind when a conversation about money comes and I am faced with the fact that most of the time we spend more than we have.

I do envy everyone who has money (even if I don’t envy their lives).

I like to boast in the things I have that money has purchased.

I am extremely rude and childish when discussing money stuff.

I am too proud to say that I am scared if I don’t have money.

I want to spend money on what I want to spend it on… screw everyone else.

I am very easily angered when it comes to discussions about money and how we will spend it.

I remember wrongs especially when it involves money.

I delight myself in the day dreaming of what life would be like if I had a money tree in my back yard.

I think money protects me,

I trust in a bottom line of a financial statement more than I do in the Cross of Christ. Money gives me hope that if I have it, I can be happy all the time (as if that is even real).

With money, I think I could persevere anything the world throws at me.

As you can see the love of Christ is missing or disappears when the love of money takes over. I guess I need to take “In God We Trust” off my dollars and put “In Money I Trust” on every cross that I have. E. Stanley Jones says that there are two ways to be rich, 1- in the abundance of your possessions or 2- in the fewness of your wants.

Here is the scary part in all this… I can see my sin!!! Most of the time I don’t really notice it. I know its there, but it isn’t hitting me right between the eyes on a regular basis. Well this money thing hit me right between the eyes and it is ugly to see, especially when it hurts the people I love. As a church planter money is not something we have a lot of and this whole idea of budgeting and being tight with money has shined a huge beam of light onto my sin.

Here is the play-by-play event that happened recently. We are going to a church planting training in Texas in November which will cost quite a bit given that we have to get a hotel, plane tickets, food, and the course itself. In other words we are going to have to make some sacrifices to do something that we feel is very important and what God would want us to do. The hotel alone is going to run us about $550. So, Lindsey and I started discussing our choices about where to stay, what to eat and guess what… I acted like a jerk, blew up like a blow fish on speed and took my frustration, fear, anger, worries out on my wife as if it is her fault that we don’t have a bunch of money and can’t do exactly what I want to do or what is most convenient.

To be a Christian is to die to self and live for Christ and for others. Well, I thought I had died to myself, but apparently not in all areas. I should be trusting in the fact that where God leads, He provides. Instead I got angry and yes, I yelled as if that would help. Now I am a person who is trying to plant a church to show the world the love of Christ and I am yelling at my wife who is 6 months pregnant. Something is not right here. Something needs to change and must. So tonight I share all this with you to ask you to pray this simple prayer for me so that I will look more like Him and not like a person who is controlled by money and the things of this world.

“Father, I come to you in the name of Jesus Christ, Your son, and according to James 1:5 I am seeking wisdom for David Pace and his love of money.”

As much as I hated sharing that with you it does give me the chance to say God forgives. Nothing I can do will make him stop loving me and trying to mold me, and I thank God that my wife tries to do the same. In a way I am glad God pointed my money issue out to me. Now I just pray that over time you will be able to see the work of God in this area of my life and in turn that it can possibly create a path for you to follow it to the foot of the cross.

Something tells me I am not the only one out there who struggles with money stuff. I pray that somehow me being open will help you better understand your husband or wife. I pray that together we can overcome this American dream culture and truly put our trust in Christ and not money and the things it provides. Please send me an email or comment on the blog if this post has somehow helped you or moved you to pray for us.

David (edited by Lindsey)